21 Effective Ways To Boost Your Self-Esteem as a New Mom

Your tribe sets your vibe

If you’re wondering how to boost self-esteem, here’s an easy one: Surround yourself with good people! Author Tony Robbins says, “When you surround yourself with positivity, you’re more likely to adopt empowering beliefs and see life as happening for you instead of to you.” Having people you can relate to and lean on when times are tough can relieve stress and enrich your overall quality of life.

Practice daily affirmations

Speak it and believe it! When speaking daily affirmations, you’re reminding yourself—out loud—of your core strengths and traits. It’s a way to celebrate yourself, plus show your inner critic who’s boss. Self help and well-being expert Tchiki Davis, M.A., Ph.D suggests starting with any of these affirmations: 

• I give myself permission to be myself
• I love myself fully
• ​I’m doing my best and that is enough
• My future is bright

Strut your stuff 

Want to know how to improve self-esteem? Having good posture can help! Have you ever watched someone enter a room and thought,“Wow, they look like they really have their act together”? It was probably their posture talking. Richard Petty, professor of psychology at Ohio State University states, "It turns out that our posture can affect how we think about ourselves. If you sit up straight, you end up convincing yourself by the posture you're in." Not only does good posture create an outward air of confidence, but that confidence can reflect within your own thoughts about yourself. 

Communicate your needs

Getting your needs met is a great way to build your self-esteem. Why? Because you’re able to show that you can effectively advocate for yourself. In order to get your needs met, you have to get attuned to what your needs are. One simple way to start this self-discovery can happen when you are venting to a friend or partner. Before you start talking, ask yourself: Do I need to be helped, heard or hugged? Communicate this need to your confidant before you start to chat so that you can get the support you need in that moment.

Be a good friend to yourself

Another helpful tip on how to increase self-esteem is practicing positive self-talk. Ask yourself this: Would you speak to your friend the way you speak to yourself? The way we speak to ourselves matters. At the end of the day, we are the most influential person to ourselves. And oftentimes, we are our biggest critic.

Differentiate facts vs. feelings

Your emotions are important but sometimes they can mislead you. They have the power to manipulate the way you see certain situations. Instead, try separating yourself from your emotions in order to focus on the facts. Deal with your emotions in other ways such as journaling, exercising, or taking up a new hobby. 

Feel fancy

Sometimes building confidence is just putting on your favorite outfit and styling your hair. How does your favorite outfit make you feel? Focus on that feeling and remember that sometimes it can be that simple. When you feel good, you look good! There’s nothing wrong with sweatpants, but if you’ve been in the same pair for three days straight, sometimes pulling out a fresh set of pants will do the trick.

Practice self-love 

With self help comes self-love. Self-love is more than just daily self-affirmations, it’s about self-acceptance. Accept that societal standards are unrealistic. Accept that you cannot control every situation. Accept that you’re not perfect because nothing is. Once you’ve nailed that down, you’ll realize that you deserve a lot more grace than you’ve given yourself.

Stop to smell the roses

Why? They smell good! But also, getting outside of your headspace and focusing on your surroundings can help quiet your anxiety and help you become more aware. 

You can turn this awareness inward to become more self-aware. Practice paying attention to the world around you, and then take that focus and pay attention to your inner dialogue. You’ll be surprised at what you notice. 

Turn up the tunes

Put on your favorite music and do a little dance! Music therapy is a real thing and for good reason. This TED talk led by Donna Stoering shares how music is helpful for processing emotions, boosting mood, building self-esteem, and even lowering blood pressure. Now, that's a good reason to blast some Beyoncé.

Practice mirror work

Self-love expert Louise Hay says, “Mirror work involves gazing at yourself in the mirror while saying positive affirmations. You can do it any time you find yourself looking at yourself in the mirror, even if just for a moment.”

Savor the newness of motherhood 

As mentioned before, you were just promoted the most important job in the entire world. Embrace it! Recognize that this is a job like no other and that you’re absolutely crushing it. Don’t forget to enjoy the small moments, no matter how busy you are. Even though your little one is growing faster than a weed, you can hold onto every moment by printing your photos into photo books straight from your phone.