21 Effective Ways To Boost Your Self-Esteem as a New Mom
Silence your inner critic with these helpful tricks.
on May 23, 2023
Your life just changed in the biggest way possible so it’s totally normal to have big feelings about that. With a whole new slew of responsibilities and a completely different lifestyle, it might take your brain a beat to catch up. But here’s a reminder for you: You’re now raising a child that wasn’t in your home a few months ago, and you’re still out there ticking off your daily to-do list like the center of your universe didn’t just completely change. You’re amazing!
So, if you want to remind yourself that you are in fact the eighth wonder of the world, try implementing these tips to boost your self-esteem every day.
The foundation for building self-esteem begins with some good ol’ self-reflection. Take a few minutes daily to be thankful for what you’ve built and overcome. Write down five things you’re thankful for in a journal each day.
Scroll through your camera roll and let those funny, sentimental and sappy moments flood your senses. You can also start a monthly photo journal by printing your favorite photos each month into a photo book. To remind yourself of what a kick-butt of a mom you are, create a separate monthly photo journal for all of your baby’s firsts.
Look at what you’ve accomplished!
Just to reiterate: You’re taking care of a brand new human and you’re still managing to do everything else. Besides taking on the world’s most important job, you’ve also made it to this very moment, which is an accomplishment in itself. Celebrate yourself! Take time to write down at least two things you’ve accomplished, big or small, and think about everything you’ve already done, not the things you still need to do.
Building confidence as a new mom can only make you a better mom. Printing your photos and turning them into a photo book is an easy first step. In a study done by HP and Chatbooks, 68% of parents revealed that seeing their family photos printed made them feel more confident as a parent. Now that’s saying something!
Your tribe sets your vibe
If you’re wondering how to boost self-esteem, here’s an easy one: Surround yourself with good people! Author Tony Robbins says, “When you surround yourself with positivity, you’re more likely to adopt empowering beliefs and see life as happening for you instead of to you.” Having people you can relate to and lean on when times are tough can relieve stress and enrich your overall quality of life.
Practice daily affirmations
Speak it and believe it! When speaking daily affirmations, you’re reminding yourself—out loud—of your core strengths and traits. It’s a way to celebrate yourself, plus show your inner critic who’s boss. Self help and well-being expert Tchiki Davis, M.A., Ph.D suggests starting with any of these affirmations:
- I give myself permission to be myself
- I love myself fully
- I’m doing my best and that is enough
- My future is bright
Strut your stuff
Want to know how to improve self-esteem? Having good posture can help! Have you ever watched someone enter a room and thought,“Wow, they look like they really have their act together”? It was probably their posture talking. Richard Petty, professor of psychology at Ohio State University states, "It turns out that our posture can affect how we think about ourselves. If you sit up straight, you end up convincing yourself by the posture you're in." Not only does good posture create an outward air of confidence, but that confidence can reflect within your own thoughts about yourself.
Communicate your needs
Getting your needs met is a great way to build your self-esteem. Why? Because you’re able to show that you can effectively advocate for yourself. In order to get your needs met, you have to get attuned to what your needs are. One simple way to start this self-discovery can happen when you are venting to a friend or partner. Before you start talking, ask yourself: Do I need to be helped, heard or hugged? Communicate this need to your confidant before you start to chat so that you can get the support you need in that moment.
Be a good friend to yourself
Another helpful tip on how to increase self-esteem is practicing positive self-talk. Ask yourself this: Would you speak to your friend the way you speak to yourself? The way we speak to ourselves matters. At the end of the day, we are the most influential person to ourselves. And oftentimes, we are our biggest critic.
Differentiate facts vs. feelings
Your emotions are important but sometimes they can mislead you. They have the power to manipulate the way you see certain situations. Instead, try separating yourself from your emotions in order to focus on the facts. Deal with your emotions in other ways such as journaling, exercising, or taking up a new hobby.
Sometimes building confidence is just putting on your favorite outfit and styling your hair. How does your favorite outfit make you feel? Focus on that feeling and remember that sometimes it can be that simple. When you feel good, you look good! There’s nothing wrong with sweatpants, but if you’ve been in the same pair for three days straight, sometimes pulling out a fresh set of pants will do the trick.
With self help comes self-love. Self-love is more than just daily self-affirmations, it’s about self-acceptance. Accept that societal standards are unrealistic. Accept that you cannot control every situation. Accept that you’re not perfect because nothing is. Once you’ve nailed that down, you’ll realize that you deserve a lot more grace than you’ve given yourself.
Stop to smell the roses
Why? They smell good! But also, getting outside of your headspace and focusing on your surroundings can help quiet your anxiety and help you become more aware.
You can turn this awareness inward to become more self-aware. Practice paying attention to the world around you, and then take that focus and pay attention to your inner dialogue. You’ll be surprised at what you notice.
Turn up the tunes
Put on your favorite music and do a little dance! Music therapy is a real thing and for good reason. This TED talk led by Donna Stoering shares how music is helpful for processing emotions, boosting mood, building self-esteem, and even lowering blood pressure. Now, that's a good reason to blast some Beyoncé.
Practice mirror work
Self-love expert Louise Hay says, “Mirror work involves gazing at yourself in the mirror while saying positive affirmations. You can do it any time you find yourself looking at yourself in the mirror, even if just for a moment.”
Savor the newness of motherhood
As mentioned before, you were just promoted the most important job in the entire world. Embrace it! Recognize that this is a job like no other and that you’re absolutely crushing it. Don’t forget to enjoy the small moments, no matter how busy you are. Even though your little one is growing faster than a weed, you can hold onto every moment by printing your photos into photo books straight from your phone.
Do something you know you’re good at
Great at baking? Whip up some cupcakes! Good at painting? Paint away! Finishing a project, especially if it’s something you love can give you a great sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that is guaranteed to help you celebrate yourself.
Learn something new
On the contrary, trying something completely new can definitely help you on your journey to building self esteem. Curious about trying to learn French? Hit up DuoLingo! Proving to yourself that you can do these tasks that you know nothing about can transform the way you see yourself.
Hit up the mall
Use this tip with caution, but a few new pieces in your wardrobe couldn’t hurt your confidence! Wearing outfits that make you feel good helps you exude confidence. So, don’t be afraid to expand your wardrobe.
Prioritize feel-good activities
Think about what makes you tick. Do you feel amazing after a good workout? Does your stomach hurt from too much laughter after hanging out with friends? Do more of that! Put the things that make you happiest at the top of your priority list. Of course, you will always have everyday responsibilities, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t any wiggle room to fit something you love into your day!
Leave your comfort zone
Just like trying your hand at something new, leaving your comfort zone has the power to transform the way you view yourself. Whether it’s going for a walk on a new side of town or booking that solo trip you’ve always dreamed of, leaving your comfort zone only has positive effects when it comes to building confidence.
Write down what you’re great at
This one is exactly what it sounds like. Simply get a notepad and brainstorm a list of everything you’re great at. It could be anything from your immaculate folding skills to being present for your children. Once you see that laundry list of amazing skills longer than a CVS receipt, you’ll realize that you are literally capable of anything.
Practice mindfulness and meditation
Practicing mindfulness and meditation can help in building confidence by reducing anxiety and stress levels, which can be a barrier to self-assurance. By training the mind to focus on the present moment and cultivating a sense of inner calm, you can develop a greater sense of self-awareness and self-acceptance.
Building self esteem as a new mom is a process that takes time and effort, but it’s definitely achievable. By practicing self-care, seeking support from others, and focusing on your strengths as a parent and a person, you can develop a strong sense of self-assurance that will help you navigate the challenges of motherhood with greater ease and confidence. You’re killing it, mama! And don’t worry about painstakingly creating baby books for your little one, just print all those photos you’re snapping on your phone in a Monthbooks subscription!
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