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How to Play With Your Toddler When You're Exhausted (And Don't Feel Like It)
Published 1/30/26
Advice
It's 15 degrees outside. 30mph wind gusts. Feels like -2.
My 2-year-old and I are stuck in the house. Again.
I'm on the couch, messy bun, exhausted, scrolling through my phone while monitoring him like a referee. He runs to the kitchen. Grabs a toy. Throws it in the dog's water dish. I yell "No!" He doesn't care. He comes back. Shoves a Dr. Seuss book in my face.
"Read this, Mama."
Again. For the tenth time today.
I read it. Halfway through, he walks away. Puts a bucket on his head like a hat. Comes back with a different book. "Read this, Mama."
The cycle repeats. All day. Until my husband gets home from work.
And I think: This is his childhood. And I'm just sitting here. Waiting for it to be over.
The Mom Guilt About Not Wanting to Play With Your Kids
Here's what I was thinking on that couch:
I suck at this.
This is his childhood and I'm just letting him watch the same Bluey episode 1,700 times while I make sure he's not doing anything dangerous.
I should be expanding his mind. Being more interactive. Doing activities. Being present.
But I'm too tired.
And then the bigger guilt, the one you're not supposed to admit as a mom:
I don't even want to play with him right now.
There. I said it. The thing that makes you feel like the worst parent in the world.
I love my kid. Obviously. But playing with my toddler when I'm exhausted? Some days it feels like the hardest thing in the world. When you're touched out, overstimulated, and have been "on" since 6am, the thought of getting on the floor to build blocks or play pretend feels impossible.
The Moment Everything Changed
So there I was. On the couch. Seventh time reading about a Wocket in a pocket (seriously, what IS a wocket?).
And I put my phone down.
Sighed.
Said "alright" to no one in particular.
Got down on the floor with him.
And helped him build this little robot toy we have.
That's when his eyes lit up.
Not because the robot was special. Not because I was suddenly winning Mom of the Year.
But because his mommy was actually giving him attention.
He wasn't running to the water dish and being mischievous on purpose. He wasn't climbing on me and whining because he's a difficult toddler. He just wanted my attention.
I sang him a song. He stopped everything and watched every movement of my mouth like I was performing on Broadway.
We did a puzzle together. Just a simple 6-piece wooden puzzle. He was thrilled.
I showed him a new Danny Go! dance. (shoutout) He giggled and tried to copy me.
These weren't elaborate activities. They weren't Pinterest-worthy toddler arts and crafts. They weren't teaching him advanced skills or hitting developmental milestones.
They were just...me. Being present with my kid. For like, 10 minutes.
And that was enough.
What I Was Doing Wrong (The Parenting "Shoulds")
Before this realization, I thought playing with my toddler had to look a certain way:
- Reading books even when neither of us was into it
- Building elaborate block towers
- Doing structured educational activities
- Being constantly engaged and enthusiastic for hours
In my mind, I had to build the Leaning Tower of Pisa out of Legos to achieve the "yes, I am playing with my kid" award.
And when I didn't have the energy for that level of engagement? I felt like I was failing at parenting.
So I'd just...sit on the couch. Half-engaged. Scrolling. Monitoring. Yelling "no" a thousand times.
Neither of us was happy.
Simple Activities for Toddlers (That Don't Drain You)
Here's what I've learned about how to play with your toddler when you're tired: The littlest things thrill them.
Things that take almost zero energy from me but make him light up:
Puzzles Together
We sit at the table. I hand him pieces. He figures it out. I say "good job." That's it. 10 minutes of low-energy toddler entertainment.
Building His Robot Toy
Takes 3 minutes. He loves it every single time. I don't have to be creative or think hard. Just snap the pieces together while he watches.
Learning New Songs and Dances
I literally just sing or put on a Danny Go! video. He watches. Tries to copy. We're both happy. Being present with kids doesn't mean elaborate activities, sometimes it's just singing while you fold laundry.
Playing "Catch" With the Dog
I'm the referee. I sit on the floor. They play. I occasionally say "gentle!" This counts as quality time, right?
Looking at Photo Books Together
We have these monthly photo books, and he is OBSESSED with flipping through them. "Baby! Dada! Puppy!" He'll point at himself in photos and giggle. It's basically a low-effort activity that keeps him engaged for 20 minutes while I sit next to him. Sometimes the best moments aren't about playing, they're about remembering together and feeling grateful.
Little "Science Experiments"
And by that I mean...putting ice in a bowl and watching it melt. Or pouring water between cups. He's fascinated. I'm sitting down. Win-win.
Basically Anything Involving Throwing Objects Into Water
Puddles outside. Dog dish (unfortunately). Bathtub. The kid has a type. I've learned to embrace it.
The Permission You Need to Hear
If you're struggling with mom guilt about not wanting to play with your kids, here's what I need you to know:
You're allowed to be exhausted. Parenting exhaustion is real. By the end of the day, you've been touched, climbed on, needed, and demanded from for hours.
You're allowed to be touched out. Feeling touched out as a mom is so common and so normal. Sometimes you just need space. That doesn't make you a bad parent.
You're allowed to not want to play pretend. Or build blocks. Or read the same book 47 times. Some types of play are genuinely draining for some people, and that's okay.
And your kid will be fine.
Because here's the thing I'm learning: They don't need you to be the perfect playmate. They just need you to be present. Even for a few minutes.
What Changed When I Stopped Forcing It
When I stopped forcing the "should" activities and started focusing on simple ways to connect:
✓ Playtime got easier (for both of us) ✓ He stopped acting out as much (because he wasn't desperate for attention) ✓ I felt less guilty (because I was actually connecting with him) ✓ It didn't feel like a chore anymore
The shift: I realized playing with your toddler doesn't have to be a big grand to-do.
We can just chill at the table together putting together a puzzle.
I can hold him on my lap and sing him a new song.
I can get on the floor for 5 minutes and build his robot.
That's enough. He's happy. I'm not completely depleted. We're good.
Why Winter With a Toddler Makes This Harder
Being stuck inside with a toddler in winter amplifies everything.
When you can't go outside because it's legitimately dangerous with the windchill, the walls start closing in. You run out of toddler activities. You run out of energy. You run out of patience.
One thing that's been surprisingly helpful? Our photo books from last summer. When we're both going stir-crazy in February, I pull out the books from June and July. When I print my camera roll, he gets to see himself at the beach, at the park, playing outside when it was warm. It reminds both of us that winter won't last forever. It keeps him entertained while requiring zero energy from me.
But here's what I'm learning: Even in the dead of winter, even when we're both losing our minds, the little moments matter more than the big activities.
A 5-minute dance party in the living room. A puzzle at the kitchen table. Singing a song while I fold laundry and he "helps" by throwing socks everywhere.
It doesn't have to be elaborate. It just has to be present.
When You Feel Like You're Failing at Parenting
I still have days where I'm on the couch, scrolling, half-present, counting down the minutes until bedtime.
I still don't always want to play with my toddler when tired.
I still feel mom guilt sometimes about not being engaged enough.
But I'm learning that the moments I show up, even for just a few minutes, matter more than I think.
And the moments I need to zone out and recharge? Those are okay too.
Because you can't pour from an empty cup. But you also don't need to fill the whole ocean.
Just a few minutes. Just a little presence. Just you, on the floor, building a robot or singing a song or looking at photos together.
That's the stuff they'll remember. Not the elaborate, planned activities. Not the perfect parenting moments you see on social media.
Just you. Being there. Even when you're tired. Even when it's hard. Even when you don't really feel like it.
And that's enough.
You're Not Alone in This
So if you're reading this from your couch right now, exhausted, touched out, feeling guilty about not wanting to play, you're not alone.
Every parent has felt this way. Every parent has days where they're just trying to survive until bedtime. Every parent has wondered if they're doing enough.
You're not a bad parent for feeling this way.
You're just human. And your kid doesn't need perfect.
They just need you.
Even for 5 minutes.
Even when you're tired.
Just being together. That's what they'll remember.
Looking for more honest parenting advice? Check out our posts on raising a toddler in 2026, how motherhood evolves over time, and 35 best parenting quotes from people who’ve been there before.