15 Super Creative Ways to Build Belonging in Your Family
How do I build a sense of belonging in my family?
A sense of belonging and connection is essential to human wellness. So essential in fact, that the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine reported many psychiatrists advocate for adding connection to our list of survival essentials in addition to food, water, vitamins, and minerals. Low social connection was also found to be as harmful to human health as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day or being an alcoholic. It also proved to be more harmful than lack of exercise and obesity. To put it simply, connection and belonging matters!
So much of what you do in your home and for your family might feel like it goes unnoticed, but all that seemingly invisible stuff—it really matters. It’s doing something! Family connections and the sense of identity and belonging cultivated at home are the earliest, most frequent, and most impactful influences on children’s well-being. No pressure, right?
Don’t panic! Life with kids can feel really overwhelming and you definitely don’t need more to do, but here are some ideas to help you build on that foundation of belonging you are already creating—because you really are, whether you realize it or not. We hope this list helps you see the power and importance of what you already do and gives you some fun new ideas to try too!
Next time your kids are drawing or coloring, join in and draw a little family portrait (yes, stick figures are allowed!). Time together is never wasted and having them see themselves physically in something you created builds a sense of safe and cozy, connection. Invite them to draw their own family portrait too! Take pictures of all your art and make a little book for them—who doesn’t want to feel like a featured artist in print!?
Create a three-minute mental wellness ritual together! This simple practice packs a punch and is super fun too!
You have probably heard and experienced the importance of traditions, but what about knowing when to quit? Or take a break? Sometimes you outgrow traditions and allowing yourself to shift can set an example of adaptability that can let your child know they are allowed to change too. They will change but your love never will. Every once and while it’s okay to be a quitter!
Build some of your family activities around what your child is obsessed with right now, even if it’s not your thing and even if it’s not necessarily something you want them to be obsessed with. Send them the message that they are safe and secure and deeply cared about no matter what.
Maybe today was the worst but remember that beach day last summer? Remembering the good times can help your brain believe that good times will come again and will remind you and your child you’re both part of something really important—your family! Make this easier and more impactful by doing it with printed photos, which are proven to boost feelings of confidence and belonging.
Storytelling has shown to be helpful in creating a sense of belonging for children. Tell them their birth story, stories from when they were little, or even family stories from before they were born. Level it up with visual aids to really make it sink in!
Whatever time of day your child decides to get chatty (why is it always bedtime though?) go ALL IN! Active listening moves mountains when it comes to cultivating a sense of belonging. Dropping everything to prioritize the simple moments of their day sends the message that they are respected, wanted, and appreciated.
Yes, routine and rituals are important in building belonging but sometimes disrupting the norm can create a fun memory you can all hold on to. Something simple like a quick ice cream trip after the bedtime routine or even swapping chore time for game time can shake things up a little and create some space for connection.
Put physical reminders everywhere that they belong! 76% of people agree that looking at printed photos leaves their family feeling closer and more connected. Data doesn’t lie! Printing your photos and keeping them accessible to everyone in your home all the time helps showcase all the work you are already doing. The magic is there, the connection is there, and the love is there—start spending some time seeing it! The impact will be bigger than you might think.
Make a grazing board to put out wherever your family likes to hang and then just wait. If you build it, they will come—even the teens who might prefer to stay in their own corners of the house will emerge. Creating a casual, no-pressure space for gathering will inspire some spontaneous connection and maybe unexpected conversation, the kind that can’t be forced!
You know that thing your child asks for every time you are at the grocery store, and you always say no? Solidarity! But you can actually use this sometimes-exhausting pattern to help them feel seen and cared about! Write down the small things they repeatedly ask for and then one day surprise them with it! That bag of chips might seem small, but you can make their day and help them know they matter all at once!
It’s not just the big vacations, yearly recitals, memorable milestones, and huge achievements that create the most important memories—it’s all the days in between. In the busy rush of everything demanding your attention you can miss how much all you do matters. Start capturing the bedhead, the messy kitchen table full of craft projects, the wild toddler outfits, and everything else in between. The quickest way to feel better about your life is to romanticize it, and we have something for that!
High, low, buffalo! Conversation matters but getting details from the whole family can become quite the task. Connect over your day with this fun prompt that simplifies the task of getting everyone to share about their life. Each person shares something good about the day, the high, something not so great about the day, the low, and something totally random, funny, or even a little weird, the buffalo! No one likes to feel put on the spot or forced to share, so this makes a game of it and sets some parameters so recall is easier and the whole practice is a little more comfy.
You want your child to clean their room or do the dishes or pull the weeds, and it’s important for them to learn to do chores for their own confidence and self-worth. But occasionally it can be fun to offer them a swap. Offer to clean their room while they hang out on the bed and keep you company. They feel like they are getting away with something, and you are getting some quality time and connection. Everybody wins! This also helps them feel supported and like you don’t ask them to do anything you aren’t willing to do too. And who among us couldn’t use the boost of something else cleaning our room every now and then, right!?
What if for one month, or even one week, you kept a little record for your child of something great they did? Snap a daily picture and drop a note in your phone of something positive you noticed about them that day. At the end of the week or month, print it out and give it to them. Not only will you start to see the good that’s so easy to miss, but they will also feel noticed, trusted, and loved. The quickest way to strengthen family relationships is to see the best in each other, even in the times you show your worst.
Chances are you are already doing a version of at least one thing on this list along with all the other things you do every single day to make your home function, and your children feel loved. Parenthood makes everything feel high-stakes, and the mental load of that gets exhausting. Pick one or two things off this list to try and see the difference it makes! They are all designed to be fun and helpful in the process, not just productive in the result.
There is no better feeling than that of belonging. As you continue to strengthen connection in your home, you and your children are sure to feel the all-around boost that comes from the safety of a strong family foundation. Keep going, you are doing great!
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