Ralphie Jacobs of Simply on Purpose Gets Real About Positive Parenting and The Secret To Getting Your Kids to Listen
Ralphie Jacobs of Simply on Purpose explains that discipline means to teach and that positive parenting is something to strive for, even when you fall short.
on May 14, 2020
When it comes to having a family, sometimes going a whole day without a piece of candy getting stuck in your kid’s hair feels like a massive win. Add on that you actually sent your most recent Instagram Photo Book Series volume to print, and you're firing on all cylinders. That’s because parenting is not one-size-fits-all — there can be so many challenges in a single day and it’s important to find the best method that works for you when trying to raise your kid. No one knows this better than parenting coach and Simply on Purpose founder Ralphie Jacobs. She stopped by The Momforce Podcast to share her ideas on positive parenting, which can seem extra tricky when you’re trying to sort out how to discipline bad behavior. According to Jacobs, it’s not as complicated as it seems. Here are her expert tips on how to discipline a child through positive parenting...
1. Give children time to comply.
We all expect quick replies — it’s why Apple invented the three dots indicating that someone is texting us back. But calling your kids down for dinner and expecting them to line up like the seven Von Trapp children is completely unrealistic.
“Give them 20 seconds to comply,” says Jacobs. She recommends getting eye-level with your kid and repeating your expectations. “They will be so much more likely to comply if you’ve made sure to engage their brains,” she says
2. Reward good behavior
According to Jacobs, behavior that is rewarded is behavior that is performed. Children strive for approval. If you can look at your kids and see them for their potential, you will increase their worth.
3. Focus on what matters
Patterns are way more important than one-offs, and you know your kid better than anyone else on the planet. If they’re having an out-of-the-ordinary tantrum, try to give them a bit of grace. If you see a positive or negative behavior that’s recurring, that’s where you should direct more of your energy. “Water the flowers, not the weeds,” says Jacobs.
4. Don’t force a sibling relationship
It’s tempting to intervene when you see your kids having a disagreement, but Jacobs advises parents to let children work out these disagreements on their own. “Over 90% of sibling conflict is inconsequential,” she says. Getting involved only validates the argument and can turn those minor discrepancies into bigger issues. If a situation escalates and it seems like there is no turning back without an adult interfering, then go ahead and say your piece.
5. You’ll mess up and that’s A-OK
There is no such thing as a perfect mom. Again, for the people in the back: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT MOM. Rather than focusing on always getting it right, just strive to be mindful enough so that you can recognize good and bad patterns in your family dynamic. “It’s never too late to make positive changes,” says Jacobs.
For more real-life parenting tips and tricks, check out the MomForce Podcast! Vanessa Quigley, mother of 7 and co-founder of Chatbooks, hosts this refreshing take on all things mom. Along with her 4 sisters, they’ll get into the nitty-gritty of parenting together, bringing in experts to get to the source of your most-Googled "adulting" questions. Check out the #MOMFORCE BY CHATBOOKS FACEBOOK PAGE and find us on Instagram @THEMOMFORCEPODCAST.