27 Funny Back-To-School Jokes That’ll Leave You (and the Kids) Laughing
Whether you’re nervous for your little one’s first day or ready to get your kids out of the house and back in the classroom, these jokes sum up all the back-to-school feels.
Leading up to the first day school can feel exciting and exhausting. While every moment with your kids is precious, the thought of having a quiet house for the entire length of the school day is very enticing. Whether your kids are thrilled to go back to school to see their friends or if they’re a bit nervous for their first day, lighten the mood with a back-to-school joke! Morning drop off is about to get that much more fun. Try cracking these funny back-to-school jokes for a good laugh with your kids as they prepare for a new year in the classroom or from their homeschool setup.
Pro tip: Have these jokes on hand for your first-day-of-school photo op. After you snap their first day of school photos, don’t forget to add them to your Monthbook (or Yearbook, if you’re planning ahead).
Parent: “What did you learn today?”
Child: “Not enough. They said I have to go back tomorrow.”
Q: What’s big and yellow that comes every morning to brighten your mom’s day?
A: A school bus.
Q: What is white when it is dirty and black when it is clean?
A: A blackboard.
Student: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Student: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
Q: Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
A: Because they're all in high school.
Q: What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school?
A: Looking sharp!
Child: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today!
Parent: That’s great. In what class?
Child: A 40 in reading and a 60 in spelling.
Q: "Josie, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?" asked her teacher.
A: "Yes," Josie replied. "Right at the bottom."
Q: What's the king of school supplies?
A: The ruler.
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Student: I ate it.
Student: You said it was a piece of cake!
Q: Where do people go to learn how to make ice cream?
A: Sundae school.
Q: What did the student say to the teacher after he missed the first day of school?
A: “No, Mrs. K, I didn't miss it at all.”
Teacher: Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York?
Student: Well, because she can't sit down.
Q: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 150 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 125 mph. Where do they meet?
A: At the police station.
Q: Why does the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
A: Because her students are so bright!
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.
Q: Why did the obtuse angle get upset?
A: Because it knew it would never be right.
Q: What did one dad say to his daughter as she got ready for her first day?
A: “What school requires you to drop out in order to graduate? Sky diving school!”
Friend 1: Why was school easier for cave people?
Friend 2: Why?
Friend 1: Because there was no history to study!
Q: What did the pen say to the pencil?
A: What's your point?
Q: What did the math book say to the history book?
A: Boy, do I have problems.
Parent: What happened at school today?
Child: In class, we played a guessing game.
Parent: But I thought you had a math exam?
Child: That’s right!
Q: What's a math teacher's favorite dessert?
Q: What did the buffalo say when he left his child at the bus stop?
Teacher: What’s the chemical formula for water?
Teacher: How did you get that?
Student: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
Q: Where do math teachers like to go on vacation?
A: Times Square!
Q: Why didn't the fish go on vacation?
A: Because he was always in school.
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