27 Funny Back to School Jokes for Kids - Back To School Jokes for Parents

Parent:  “What did you learn today?” 

Child: “Not enough. They said I have to go back tomorrow.”

Q: What’s big and yellow that comes every morning to brighten your mom’s day? 

A: A school bus.

Q: What is white when it is dirty and black when it is clean?

A: A blackboard.

Student: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?

Teacher: Of course not.

Student: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

Q: Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?

A: Because they're all in high school.

Q: What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school?

A: Looking sharp! 

Child: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today!

Parent: That’s great. In what class?

Child: A 40 in reading and a 60 in spelling.

Q: "Josie, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?" asked her teacher.

A: "Yes," Josie replied. "Right at the bottom."

Q: What's the king of school supplies?

A: The ruler.

Teacher: Where is your homework?

Student: I ate it.

Teacher: Why?!

Student: You said it was a piece of cake!

Q: Where do people go to learn how to make ice cream?

A: Sundae school.

Q: What did the student say to the teacher after he missed the first day of school? 

A: “No, Mrs. K, I didn't miss it at all.”

Teacher: Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York?

Student: Well, because she can't sit down.

Q: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 150 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 125 mph. Where do they meet?

A: At the police station.

Q: Why does the teacher wear sunglasses to school? 

A: Because her students are so bright!

Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.

Class: Hooray!

Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.

Q: Why did the obtuse angle get upset?

A: Because it knew it would never be right.

Q: What did one dad say to his daughter as she got ready for her first day? 

A: “What school requires you to drop out in order to graduate? Sky diving school!”

Friend 1: Why was school easier for cave people?

Friend 2: Why?

Friend 1: Because there was no history to study!

Q: What did the pen say to the pencil?

A: What's your point?

Q: What did the math book say to the history book?

A: Boy, do I have problems.

Parent: What happened at school today?

Child: In class, we played a guessing game.

Parent: But I thought you had a math exam?

Child: That’s right!

Q: What's a math teacher's favorite dessert?

A: Pi

Q: What did the buffalo say when he left his child at the bus stop?

A: Bison. 

Teacher: What’s the chemical formula for water?

Student: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.

Teacher: How did you get that?

Student: Yesterday you said it was H to O.

Q: Where do math teachers like to go on vacation?

A: Times Square! 

Q: Why didn't the fish go on vacation?

A: Because he was always in school.