Turns Out, We're Learning Too: The Real Story of Motherhood
A heartfelt conversation about navigating motherhood's biggest transitions—from graduation tears to daily grace—and discovering that we're still growing up alongside our children.
You know that feeling when your heart is so full it might burst, but simultaneously feels like it's breaking into a thousand pieces? That's motherhood in a nutshell—especially during those big transition moments that mark the passage of time in our children's lives.
In a recent episode of the MomForce Podcast, Chatbooks co-founder Vanessa sat down with Chief Marketing Officer Karen Peterson to talk about one of these profound moments Karen is experiencing: her son Gavin's high school graduation. What unfolded was a conversation that every mother will recognize—the beautiful, messy, overwhelming reality of watching our children grow up.
Karen shared something that surprised her: while her oldest daughter's graduation felt significant, Gavin's hit differently. Maybe it's because Gavin was born with spina bifida, and she's watched him defy every expectation, going from doctors saying he'd never walk to becoming one of the top wheelchair basketball players in the country. Maybe it's because he's needed her in ways his sister didn't, creating a different kind of bond. Or maybe it's simply that she now knows what it really feels like to have an empty bedroom in the house.
"I've started thinking about reframing it," Karen explained, "Instead of thinking about hard moments, what if I think about them as sacred moments? Instead of lasts, what if I focus on firsts?"
This perspective shift is profound. How often do we get caught up in the endings instead of celebrating the beginnings?
As mothers, we spend years believing we're the teachers, the ones in control. But as Karen wisely noted, "Anyone who has tried to get a toddler to brush their teeth realizes really early on you have way less control than you think you do."
The transitions get bigger and scarier as our children launch into the world, but the fundamental truth remains: we are supporting characters in their stories, not the main event. What an honor to be part of their journey for these 18 years at home, and what a privilege to continue being part of their story as it unfolds.
It's not just the big milestones that require grace and intentionality. Karen shared a beautiful practice from when her children were younger: she would call her husband on her drive home from work to process the day, ensuring that when she walked through the door, she could be fully present. She made a rule never to enter the house while on her phone, understanding that the moment of walking through that door was pivotal.
These micro-transitions happen every single day—from work brain to mom brain, from chaos to bedtime calm, from school year to summer. Each one requires us to show up differently.
Perhaps the most profound insight from their conversation was this: it doesn't have to be either/or. You can be proud AND grieving. Sad AND excited. Ready for them to launch AND desperate for more time.
As Karen put it, "If I'm holding on so tight to this moment and my sadness, I don't have enough openness to think about how exciting it's gonna be when we travel out and see one of his games."
It’s true, joy and sadness can touch the same memory, creating something richer and more complex than either emotion alone.
This conversation illuminated why photo books and memory-keeping matter so deeply. It's not just about pretty albums—it's about creating lifelines for ourselves as mothers.
Karen described going through photos from each of Gavin's school years, crying as she selected them, then feeling overwhelmed with pride and accomplishment as she looked at his journey. "Those photos to me are like lifelines," she said. "They help me feel all the feelings of pride and accomplishment and confidence. You're a good mom. Look what you've done."
How often do mothers need that reminder? How often do we hold ourselves to impossible standards while extending grace to everyone else?
Whether you're dealing with a toddler who won't brush their teeth, a teenager learning to drive, or a graduate heading off to college, you're in a season. And every season—every single one—is both beautiful and hard.
Your way of mothering might look different from your friends'. You might cry at graduation while your own mother handed you luggage with a smile. You might need a good cry in the bathtub, or you might need to call your grown child, or you might need to just sit quietly and process. All of it is right. All of it is enough.
Vanessa reflected on this beautifully: "There's no one right way to mother. I'm a different person than my mother. And that's okay."
As families head into summer—a season of routine changes and new rhythms—the wisdom from this conversation rings especially true: you don't have to have it all figured out. You don't have to create Instagram-worthy adventures. You just have to show up.
Take the photos. Live the moments. Give yourself grace when you mess up (because you will, and that's okay). Remember that you're doing better than you think you are.
And when the season changes again, as it always does, those captured moments will be there to remind you: look how far you've come. Look what you've done. Look at the love you've poured out and the strength you've built.
Motherhood isn't just about surviving—it's about creating something beautiful, one sacred moment at a time.
65 Sympathy Messages To Use In a Condolence Card
60+ Sweet New Baby Quotes
How Much to Tip a Wedding Photographer