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Episode 44: Rule for Bed with Sleep and Sex Therapist Christine Lawler of @the.peaceful.sleeper
Sleep impacts our mental well-being. And during times of stress and anxiety, sleep suffers even more. New parents, especially, can suffer, not just from lack of sleep, but lack of intimacy that can be a result of no sleep. Host Vanessa Quigley is joined by co-host (and sister) Erika to talk to licensed sex therapist and sleep expert Christine Lawler about how parents/adults can get the best sleep they can (and hopefully better intimacy will follow)
Tip 1. If you don’t fall asleep within 20 minutes of lying down, get out of bed.Go do something productive until you start to feel drowsy.
Tip 2. Stop the negative talk. When we tell ourselves, “I can’t sleep. I’m a terrible sleeper. I’m just going to lie in bed, awake, all night.” we create an association that can make it even more difficult to get rest. Our beds need to be the place where we sleep, not scroll social media, so we need to change the behavioral association we have with our beds.
Tip 3. Find your ideal amount of sleep. Some people can function perfectly on 6 hours while others need 7.5 hours. Christine helps her clients find that sweet spot that allows them to get the most beneficial nights sleep.
Tip 4. Talk about sex. Tiredness can be interpreted as disinterest. Open conversations about where your head is at can clear most confusion about desire and frequency. Dry spells happen. As long as you are still communicating with your partner, sex will happen. Professional counseling can help get to the roots of the issue, when needed.
Tip 5. It’s ok for both partners not to go to bed at the same time. You may just need to get more creative at when you can be intimate.
Sleep can make or break us, as parents and as partners. There will always be a quick fix pill, but real change happens when you put in the work, with your sleep cycle and your sex cycle!
You can check out Christine’s websites The Peaceful Sleeper and Christine Lawler for more tips and resources on both topics!
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