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Why Making Friends as a Mom Is So Hard (And How to Actually Do It This Galentine's Day)
Published 2/11/26
Advice
Remember when making friends was as simple as sharing your fruit snacks at recess? Yeah, me too.
Now? Now it's like dating, but somehow more awkward. Because at least with dating apps, everyone's on the same page about what they're looking for. With mom friends, you're just... hoping? Praying? Accidentally making too-intense eye contact at Target and then pretending you didn't?
But here's the thing: Galentine's Day is coming up (shoutout to Leslie Knope for giving us a whole holiday dedicated to celebrating our people), and if you're reading this thinking, "Cool, but...who are my people?" I see you. And you're not alone.
We asked real moms how they've actually managed to make friends in the wild chaos of adulthood. And spoiler alert: none of them said "just be yourself and it'll happen naturally." Because that's a lie we tell ourselves while eating cheese crackers alone in our car.
The Truth About Why Adult Friendship Is So Weird
Let's just say it: making friends as an adult is HARD.
There's no assigned seating anymore. No built-in recess. No teacher forcing everyone to "find a partner" for the field trip. Everyone's busy, everyone's tired, and somehow the simple act of saying "hey, wanna hang out?" feels about as vulnerable as showing someone your browser history.
As adults (especially as moms), we're more guarded. We've been hurt before. We're juggling seventeen thousand responsibilities. And honestly? We're a little scared.
That doesn't mean you're bad at this. It just means friendship now requires something it didn't in kindergarten: intention.
And intention, showing up, inviting people in, being the first one to say yes, is actually pretty powerful.
Start Where You Already Are (AKA: The Sideline Strategy)
Here's what a bunch of moms told us, and honestly, it makes so much sense: the best friendships grow where your life already overlaps.
Translation? You don't need to join five new things and completely overhaul your calendar. You just need to stay a little longer in the places you're already showing up.
Think:
- Kids' sports teams (nothing bonds people like shared suffering on a freezing soccer field)
- Cub Scouts or youth groups
- The PTA (yes, really)
- School volunteering (even if it's just the book fair)
When you're already sharing carpool duty, sideline snacks, or the chaos of classroom parties, conversation starts to happen naturally. You're not forcing it, you're just...there. Repeatedly. Which, it turns out, is half the battle.
One mom told us: "I've met amazing people who have the same passions I do, just by showing up where my kids already are."
Low pressure. Real life. Built-in Galentine's energy. We love it.
Join Something (Even Though It Feels Scary)
Book clubs. Playgroups. MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). Library story time. Neighborhood Facebook groups that somehow result in actual, real-life hangouts.
These came up again and again in our totally official, very scientific mom survey (read: we asked on Instagram and people actually answered).
The thing about joining groups: it feels awkward at first. Like, very awkward. Walking into a room of people who already know each other while you're clutching your emotional support water bottle? Not fun.
But almost every mom who pushed through that initial discomfort said the same thing: it was worth it.
Because friendship rarely starts with instant chemistry and a dramatic slow-mo run toward each other in a field of wildflowers. More often, it starts with repeated proximity. Showing up to the same thing, at the same time, enough times that eventually someone says, "Wait, do you also think this is ridiculous?" and boom, you're friends. Making connections really isn’t that scary. It can just feel like it.
Galentine's Day was basically invented for this. Find your crew. Celebrate them. Even if "celebrating" is just texting "we survived another week" with excessive heart emojis.
Be the One Who Reaches Out (Yes, It's Scary. Do It Anyway.)
Okay, this is the hardest one. Ready?
Invite someone over.
Not for a Pinterest-perfect dinner party. Not for some elaborately planned hangout that requires a color-coded spreadsheet. Just: "Hey, want to come over and hang out?"
Maybe it's coffee. Maybe it's letting the kids destroy your backyard while you sit on the porch and pretend to supervise. Maybe it's saying, "I'm ordering pizza and watching trashy TV if you want to join."
Friendship doesn't grow without time together. And sometimes that means being the brave one. The one who sends the text first. The one who risks the possibility of rejection (or worse, the dreaded "sounds fun, let me check my calendar and get back to you" that never actually happens).
It feels bold. It feels risky. But it's also how real connection starts.
Think of it as your Galentine's Day gift to yourself: the gift of being brave enough to reach out.
Find Your People Around Shared Interests
Beyond the kid stuff, moms told us that the friendships that really stuck were the ones built around shared interests:
- Reading (hello, book clubs)
- Volunteering for causes they care about
- Watching the same shows (Bachelor Nation moms, hi)
- Talking about the stuff that actually matters: life, faith, work, dreams, the existential dread of laundry
When you connect over something deeper than just "our kids are the same age," friendship moves past small talk and into something real. The kind of connection that Galentine's Day is really about.
Not just people to grab coffee with (though that's nice too). People who get you.
Real Responses from Real Moms (Because We Asked)
We collected some of the best advice from moms who've been there, and honestly, their answers are better than anything we could write:
"I've tried to join (or start) things that interest me to find friends. Book club, Bunco group, or playgroups if you still have young-ish kids. It takes some putting yourself out there at first, but it's definitely worth it." — Heather
"I feel you. It's hard! Start a mom playgroup in your neighborhood! Or... nothing brings a group of women together like The Bachelor + Bachelorette." — Sarah
"Try looking for a MOPs (Mothers of Preschoolers) group in your area." — Tonia
"I totally get it! I have made a lot of friendships through my children playing sports, Cub Scouts, and volunteer work. I have met some amazing people that have the same passion that I do." — Heather
"Find someone you like and have their family over to hang out with!" — Lindsay
"Try the library...they usually have great activities and I met other moms and joined a book club." — Sabrina
"I made a lot of friends through the PTA. Both parents and teachers." — Melissa
See? You're not alone in this. And there's no one "right" way to do it. There's just showing up, being open, and taking the first step.
Why This Matters More Than You Think
Adult friendship doesn't usually happen by accident. It happens when we show up where life already puts us, stay a little longer than feels comfortable, and risk being the first one to say, "Hey, want to be friends?"
And when it works? It's not just about having someone to text memes to at 2am (though that's pretty great).
It's about building community. Support. Shared memories. The kind of people who show up in your everyday life (and eventually, in your Chatbooks.)
Because Galentine's Day isn't really about the brunch or the mimosas or the Instagram-worthy decor. It's about celebrating the people who walk through life with you. The ones who get it. The ones who show up.
And if you don't have those people yet? This is your sign to be brave. To reach out first.
Your people are out there. And they're probably just as scared as you are.
So this Galentine's Day, here's your challenge: Do one thing. Join one group. Send one text. Show up one extra time.
Because the friendships you're looking for? They're worth it.
And so are you.