3 Effortless Ways To Combat Mom Guilt
You're doing better than you think you are.
Motherhood often feels like constantly trying to find a way to do the impossible. Aside from the emotional and logistical demands, there are all the personal expectations you have for yourself (it is not bad to want great things!), and then societal pressures and expectations pile on as the overwhelming cherry on top. It’s a lot!
One study’s findings articulated this experience by reporting, “Research has shown that women’s feelings of being pressured to be a perfect mother are related to increased maternal guilt, lower self-efficacy beliefs, and higher stress levels — even when these women do not hold strong intensive mothering beliefs themselves.” Even when you don’t think you are putting pressure on yourself to be the “perfect” mom it still seeps in! The guilt! The doubt! All that pressure is bringing you down.
Humans tend to have a negativity bias in general, but in motherhood this perspective is actually wired in as a survival tactic. You are programmed to see what your children lack so you can meet their needs! So helpful, right!? Unfortunately, this programming doesn’t have an off switch, and often serves as a really convincing narrator specialized in detailing all the ways you are falling short and all the things you could be doing better.
Technically there will always be more to do—always! So letting the things left undone, the comparisons to what others are doing, and your endless list of all the ways you could be doing more become your barometer for success is a dangerous game.
The truth is? YOU ARE DOING BETTER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE! And we have proof!
Because you are so programmed and pressured to focus on all the things you are not doing, or not doing well enough, you might be missing all the things you are doing! All the things that are going well! All the good! What if you took a break from telling yourself to do more, and shifted your focus to really seeing all that you are already doing? Easier said than done—but we can help!
We are all entitled to a little doom scrolling to unwind, and you have probably heard that too much time spent on your phone and social media can have a negative impact for several different reasons—but what about your experience with motherhood specifically?
The data is in, and it might just blow your mind. People who spent time looking at digital photos felt 14 times more jealous, 9 times more anxious, and 3 times lonelier than those who looked at printed photos instead. Is anyone looking for more jealousy, anxiety, and loneliness in their motherhood? No thanks! Scroll time has also been linked to increased depression, anxiety, and poor sleep specifically in moms. These seemingly harmless habits might be stacking up against you—and the last thing you need is something sabotaging all the hard work you put in day after day.
We aren’t suggesting abandoning your phone, digital pictures, and social media completely. There is a lot of good in all of it! In fact, your phone is your greatest tool for capturing the moment and starting to see the magic in even the seemingly mundane moments. But awareness around the unseen impacts your phone use might be having on you is important. Being intentional about how you use it is key, and when you start to feel swallowed up by feelings of inadequacy use it as a sign to sign out.
Let’s circle back to that stat about all the negative stuff increasing when looking at digital photos versus printed photos. How do you make the swap? How do you build a more helpful habit? Make printed photos accessible to yourself! No need to wait for a fancy vacation, meaningful milestone, or professional photo shoot to print your life. Your phone is full of magic—put it to work in a way that serves you and your family!
Monthbooks are the easiest way to make printing your photos a habit—a habit that will help you see just how special your life is—how special the things you create are! Your books will stack up fast (but your tab won’t!) giving you all you need to stock your car, your bedside table, your office, and anywhere else you typically reach for your phone with tangible, visible evidence of the beautiful life you are living. Every day! Not just the days you finish your to-do list (has that ever happened?) or the Disneyland days or the clean-house-dinner-on-the-table-no-one-is-fighting days. If you only let yourself feel good about your life on days like that, you will waste so many opportunities to claim the joy that comes from all the messy in-betweens.
It is already there. You are already doing it. It is time to start seeing it.
Telling a mom to slow down is a little like telling a toddler to find their shoes on the way out the door. Would love to, but it seems impossible! There are always so many demands on your time and attention you sort of have to move through the day like a tornado to make it all happen. But all that hustle can keep you from seeing your own beautiful life!
You don’t need to do more. You don’t need to be more. You only need to take the time to look at and reflect on all you have already done—all you already do! What if feeling more connected to your children, more confident in yourself as a parent, and more successful as a mom could all come from doing one tiny, fun, and easy thing? You’d be crazy not to do it, right!?
Look at printed photos of your life! That’s it! You are already doing all the hard work! You are living! You are trying! You are putting in the work! You are messing up and trying again! You are sacrificing! You aren’t sleeping! You are doing it all! We are tired just from writing that all out—imagine how you feel. All you need to do to feel better about your relationships with your kids and your role as a mom is to look at the life you are already living.
It really is that simple.
7 in 10 parents agree that looking at printed photos makes them feel closer to their children and helps them remember the good times!
It doesn’t stop there! After looking at printed photos here are the reports:
- 86% of families appreciate each other more.
- 68% of people feel like a better parent.
- 55% of people feel more confident as a parent.
- 55% of people feel softer and more forgiving toward their children
It’s something so simple it feels like a trick. What other part of parenting is so easy? Maybe it is finally your turn to catch a break!
You know when your kids are small and all the moms further along in their journey stop you at the grocery store to tell you to enjoy it because it goes by so fast? They aren’t wrong, but that sure is annoying to hear when you just endured a 36-minute tantrum trying to buckle your toddler into their car seat. We won’t try to romanticize that part for you, but it really is the simple, everyday stuff that makes life beautiful.
It is all the stories from the day that seem too normal or inconsequential to document, the little scenes of toys set up around the house straight from your toddler’s imagination, and it’s the drama from the high school halls acted out for you by your teenager at 11pm while they eat grated cheese straight from the bag.
This is your beautiful life. You are living it. You are creating it. You are making it possible. You deserve to see it. You deserve to have your hard work and goodness reflected back to you—especially in the seasons when you are feeling inadequate and defeated.
You don’t have to go back to the beginning, start printing today! Did you take a picture yesterday? Print it! We make it easy, we make it affordable, and we make it work for you. Because at the end of the day that’s why we are all here. We think family is everything, and we know you are the one making it happen. Let us share the load on this one.
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