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Finding Your Mom Friends: Why Safe Community Matters More Than Ever
I think back to those long days and fast and furious years of motherhood, I cannot imagine it without my fellow moms. Moms need community.
Posted 1/11/2026
New Moms
When my baby was three weeks old, we moved to Paris, France, for the summer. I had no idea what I was doing as a first-time mom, and I didn't speak French. And this was before smartphones, so I had no supercomputer in my pocket to help me navigate this new foreign city. My husband worked 9-5 in La Défense, and I was on my own with a newborn.
I desperately needed a mom friend.
Gratefully, I met a woman who, now after 30 years, I cannot even remember her first name, but I do remember that she saved me!
My first mom group was just the 2 of us. I would go to her bigger apartment and try to piece together conversations. Her first language was Spanish, so with my two years of high school Spanish and one semester of French, we did the best we could to chat about our babies and our changing bodies. She was a lifeline for me that summer.
When I returned to the States, we moved to a cute rent-controlled apartment in Santa Monica, CA, full of young families just like ours wher I was lucky enough to land in the middle of a ready-made mom group.
We all had a lot in common—close in age, our kids were too, and funny enough, most of us went to college in Utah. BUT—we were also so different, which made the dynamic of the group really work well.
Through the couple of years we lived there, we helped and encouraged each other. We even learned important life skills from one another.
One of our friends, Christin, was a trained gourmet chef and gave us a crash course in cooking and hosting–skills I still rely on today! We took turns planning playdates and watching each other's kids. When I experienced a miscarriage, these friends were a huge strength and support.
Over the next 25+ years, the "mom group of the moment" was determined mostly by the neighborhood we lived in, what school we were part of, and who we went to church with. We moved a lot, and in each place we lived, I found my mom friends.
And when I think back to those long days and fast and furious years of motherhood, I cannot imagine it without my fellow moms. Some were so intertwined in our lives that my grown kids refer to them as their aunts.
When Mom Groups Make Headlines
In my experience, mom groups naturally evolve. As kids grow up or circumstances change, the dynamic and makeup of the group change too. In all my years of mothering, I've never experienced anything I would label as toxic among my mom friends. And it has come to my attention that not everyone has that same experience.
So "mom groups" are a hot topic at the moment, with high-profile stories going viral about once-supportive communities turning sour. People clearly have strong feelings, and honestly, there may be truth on both sides of the story–there usually is.
But this is what I know is true—moms need community.
Whether that is a tight-knit group of friends or one mom bestie, motherhood isn't meant to be done alone. Not just to give you all the answers you're looking for, but to let you know what you're experiencing is normal. Or to show you that there is no one right way to do motherhood.
And one thing I do believe is that life is already too hard and too busy to stay in spaces that feel unsafe or draining, or whatever "toxic" means to you.
What's standing out to me as these stories unfold is that maybe it's less of a personality problem and more of a systems problem. A mom group doesn't become unsafe because moms are bad. It becomes unsafe when the environment stops protecting people.
What Makes The MomForce Different
So moms need a safe community, and sometimes good friends can be hard to find. That's why I'm so grateful for communities like The MomForce–Chatbooks' Facebook group, built and sustained intentionally with safety in mind.
Here's what makes this community actually safe:
Clear guidelines from the start. Everyone knows what's expected, which means there's less room for misunderstanding or hurt feelings to escalate.
Moderation that protects. The group has active moderators who step in when needed to maintain the kind of environment where vulnerability is possible.
No competition, just celebration. There's room for every kind of mom and every kind of mothering style. It's literally just women supporting women, and it's beautiful to see. Whether you're a working mom, stay-at-home mom, adoptive mom, stepmom, you belong.
And you can see it in action. When someone posts about struggling with toddler tantrums, they get empathy before advice. When conversations touch on sensitive topics like sleep training or feeding choices, there's an understanding that different things work for different families. And when someone makes a mistake, there's grace and repair instead of pile-ons and screenshots.
Come Find Your People
If you're feeling isolated with a newborn, navigating a new neighborhood, or just craving connection with women who get it, there's a place for you in The MomForce.
Join The MomForce Facebook Group here and become part of a community where you can be yourself, ask the hard questions, celebrate the wins, and remember that you're not doing this motherhood thing alone.
We've been waiting for you.
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